Start by teaching them to be kind to other people. With my kids when they are rude to someone or hurt another person I talk to them about how being unkind makes them feel on the inside. They usually say they feel sad. So then I have them appolagize to the person they hurt and help them think of something nice they can do for that person especially if it is a close friend or relative, someone they have to deal with often. This parenting technique has done wonders in helping bring out my children's kind hearts. One of the first things I do when they are rude or hurt someone is talk to them about why they did it in the first place. Open communication is so very important.
Teaching children to be respectful is very important. I don't want my kids to end up one of those snotty nosed brats. It is very important to not confuse respect with fear though. A child should not fear their parent but respect them. I have found that the easiest way to teach my kids how to be respectful was by doing so myself and showing them respect as well. Say please and thank you to your kids when you need them to do something. Yes they might need to be reminded once in a while, but they model what they see everyday from us as parents.
Teaching kids to be in control of their emotions can be very tough. It takes a lot of practice and many, many talks. I'm still working on this with my oldest daughter but we are getting there. The first thing I had to teach her was that it's ok to have emotions. I didn't freak out and yell at her when she would have her massive tantrums. I would calmly tell her that if she wanted to throw a fit she needed to do it in her room and that when she was done mommy would come talk to her. I would wait until she was done and then go have a nice calm talk with her about why she threw the tantrum.
Instead of teaching my daughters to pray when they are distressed I am teaching them to be empowered and think of things that will help them feel better. Coloring, singing, playing outside, ect. One of the things I taught them from the time they were very small to do was when they were very upset I would tell them to stop what they were doing and take 3 deep breaths. This would help them to calm down enough to talk to me and tell me what it was that was bothering them.
One of the most important things to me in my parenting is not being afraid to say I'm sorry to my kids. I think this goes along with the respect I was talking about earlier. I respect my kids enough that if I make a mistake no matter how big or how small, I take the time to appolagize to them. I have been told this is a parenting fail. I hadn't seen my daughter in nearly a month and she was very upset she couldn't go home and see her friends because we had moved. I told her that I was sorry and that we really couldn't do that for a while. My exs mother cut me off and told me that I needed to stop telling my kids I was sorry and exert my authority instead and that my appolagizeing was effecting my kids in negotiate ways. I looked up at her and said "my kids are fine."
Children can be taught strong morals without going to church. I believe that the morals will be stronger in them because they are not based on fear. Teaching our little ones to obey based on church won't stick with them for long, there teens will come along and they will most likely rebel against it. Teaching children what is right and wrong based on how their soul feels? I believe that is something that is much stronger than beliefs based on fear. Teaching my children good morals based on how their soul feels teaches them to listen to their inner self and think for themselves and will help them to be empowered themselves.
Rain Freedom
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